Destiny versus growth: why capitalism is bad for lovers.

So I've been looking for love all my life, and have always been bitterly envious of those people who can seemingly find it effortlessly and hold onto it. I always thought it was because something was wrong with me, but it was more likely because of my delayed social development and poor partner-matching. We privilege the destiny-oriented notion of love, because frankly, it's a rush. Entire industries are built on the instant gratification of infatuation and the subsequent crashes it yields.

I'm of the opinion that we growth-oriented types should get burned once or twice to get it out of our system, and then take a good long break, and learn to grow with ourselves and our (non-romantic) loved ones. It'll make you less demanding, needy, and envious, all of which are good qualities to strive for.

It'll also be the ultimate fuck-you to these social discourses that imply we're somehow incomplete or deficient because we're un-partnered. No need to shave your head and put on a robe, but there's a lot to be said for shuffling yourself loose from the game for a while, because frankly, it's a vicious game in which virtually everyone loses far more than they win.

The heart is a muscle the size and shape of a fist. Keep on loving, keep on fighting, and don't be afraid to leave what's comfortable. Dare to learn something about yourself, because we live in an economy which strongly disincentivizes self-awareness in favor of unreflective consumption (up to and including romantic partners). You're better than that. Never forget.

A gratuitous picture of Orange Cat.